Weight loss incredulity

Well, as of April of this year I started going to Weight Watchers again to get myself back on track.  I've got a few minor-could-be-major-if-I-don't-take-care-of-them-now health problems and the # 1 way to reverse them is to lose weight.  I can't deal with the selfishness of having to face our son one day and explaining to him that Mama is sick and won't live as long as she could have because she made poor choices.  I don't do well every day, but I try to do a little better at least a couple days per week.  I'm working to eliminate high fructose corn syrup in at least the most obvious sources - bread, peanut butter, jelly, hot dogs...those sorts of things.  HFCS is something I think my body in particular has a hard time dealing with so it would be for the best if I stop eating it.

Anyway, today I was reflecting on my weight loss.  I'm down (officially, weigh in is Thursday) 22.2 pounds and while I know I've been struggling with my old habits and stalling my weight loss, it's actually a great number - and I expect it to improve this week.  I'm seeing weight loss that I think I may have given up on and it is giving me an out-of-body experience.  It feels like I'm lying about my weight loss or telling someone else's story; it doesn't feel like mine.  Even though my clothes fit differently, my stomach feels and looks smaller, and people are starting to notice...it still feels...weird.

I think this is common, but I thought it was common with more weight loss.  I can deal with it and I'm starting to feel focused on my goal - I'd like to hit 45 pounds by the time I go back to the endocrinologist at the end of September.  I have approximately 9 weeks to lose 20* more pounds and it's doable if I stay focused. 

Wish me luck, cross your fingers, and if you see me with some snacky thing that will sabotage me, for goodness' sake please slap it out of my hands!  I will try not to punch you.  At the very least ask me if I journaled the points :)

Until next time,
Incredulous in S-town


*I am anticipating that I'll surpass 25 pounds this week so that's how my math works out.

Making up for lost time

Wow, it's almost like I have nothing better to do than vomit things from my brain into Blogger. :)

Reading the DIY blog helps me realize a couple things - 1) I should stop stressing that my house isn't "done" before our housewarming (I called it a BBQ but everyone knows what it is) next week and just enjoy it...even if I'm still going to do some planting/prettying up the outdoors a bit tomorrow!! 2) enjoy the process; even though I'm not really into home renovation, I love before/after progress and that is to be valued 3) I should probably make a list since I love lists anyway. Dear husband hates them, I think, but I love crossing things off a list. Makes me feel productive.

Additionally, I should probably start writing things down more or in 10 years I won't even remember what's happened since I have a terrible memory. Photos are nice but sometimes they need context. They're definitely enhanced by context, and the journal is improved by them - it's quite the complementary (yes that's the correct spelling!) relationship actually.

I should probably go back to bed now. I'm thinking of reading more of What Alice Forgot, though. It's really good and makes you think.

Hi again. Two posts in one day? NO WAY!!

I haven't posted much lately, so I didn't know that Blogger had changed so much. When I wrote the previous post it defaulted to HTML and I remember thinking, after an edit to add some breaks (space between paragraphs), gosh I'm glad I know some incredibly basic HTML coding. Right after that thought I noticed I could switch over to what I used to use to write a post. I guess it didn't change that much after all. :)

Learn to appreciate blank space & silence

It's 4:17am and I've been awake since 2:45 because I fell asleep with the toddler...yes, we have a toddler. How'd that happen? Anyway, when you fall asleep with a toddler and don't sleep a normal 8 hours [even if you do], you wake up far earlier than you would normally. So here I am, looking at Pinterest and Facebook and I've been reading all sorts of posts/looking at pictures on a DIY home improvement site.

Seeing one of their photos of their patio (which I can't find again) where there were only a few plants poking out of the mulch made me realize that I am twitchy about blank space. I don't know why. However, I'm weird with silence in a conversation as well and it's sort of the same thing. What I noticed in the photo was that they had blank space in the garden area and it was ok! I have a big blank space in my water garden and I was trying to decide how to fill it and now I'm thinking I really don't need to. I'm not sure why I feel like every space and silence needs to be filled but the more important thing is here to learn to get past that.

Long absent

I'm still around, but I do most of my posting on Facebook or G+ these days.

Our son, M, was born last November and is 8.5 months old. Time sure flies...he's amazing and I didn't know I could love this much. I find myself just sitting and watching him play and I'm content just to be with him (although sometimes I do watch tv while he plays). It's not something I would have expected to like.

We started feeding M solid foods when he was 6 months old and now he's moved on from single ingredient foods to multiple ingredient foods; we recently added meat and yogurt to his diet and he's enjoying them. So far I'm proud to say that we have been able to abstain from buying "baby" food - my friend gave me some baby cereal, but I can't make that so it doesn't count. I'm sure at some point we'll break down and buy some rice puffs or yogurt bites or something but hopefully we'll never be too busy to make the bulk of his food. Besides, it's so easy...and now that he can eat meat, we can almost just make him a serving from our plates. I'm not sure how concerned to be about salt, so we're still only feeding him a little bit of the adult food.

So far the interesting food we've made him: squash and roasted red pepper risotto, pear apple and blueberry sauce, cream of chicken broccoli and rice, and roasted green pepper quinoa.

I'm pretty bored by this post, however, so I'm going to cut it short (and in 8 months, I'll post something else that's boring!).

Pregnancy, months 1-7

I'm not quite at 7 months but I'm pretty close to it so I'll include it.

It's definitely been full of new experiences...from the first positive test, to the unexplained bleeding and misdiagnosis of miscarriage, to feeling the baby move for the first time, having my back put me on a leash (30 mins for walking or standing, some days longer), experiencing belly button pain (short-lived but still not fun), learning that my hamstring was causing excruciating pain in my hips/pelvis and how to fix it, the tendonitis in my wrist flaring up and changing from a muscle ache to what feels more like a bone ache, to just getting bigger and feeling more movement and loving it - of course, for many that means stretch marks. I don't have a bikini bod and stretch marks eventually fade anyway, so I don't care - other than feeling them. I never thought I'd feel stretch marks, but they're at times either painful or itchy. Oh, and the baby sitting on the bladder experience - very weird. "Oh no I have to pee sooooo bad!!! Hmm. I am pretty sure that was about 3 ounces, certainly felt more urgent than that."

I have good days and bad, but overall I like being pregnant. When I wake up several times in the middle of the night to pee or shift or whatever, sometimes I decide to check Facebook or e-mail and the baby wakes up and starts kicking. That's really my favorite part, and now that it's kicking and nudging harder I put my hand on it to feel it on the outside - and sometimes it feels REALLY WEIRD! Those times are the ones where the baby is trying to turn - but those days will be gone soon. I'm a little over 30 weeks now and the baby has some room to maneuver but in a few more weeks it will be so cramped the baby won't be doing too much of that. Then I get to have an Aliens experience watching my belly shift and move and maybe be able to ID a foot as it pushes out. Oh, that's something I discovered recently - even if I don't feel the baby moving, I can find where it's resting because of the extra hard quality of the tissues supported by a 3 pound little human.

We start self hypnosis classes in just under 2 weeks - and I even have money set aside for it! I'm excited because hypno birth is supposed to be calm and easier on the baby, and I get to be conscious of things I wouldn't normally have the pain tolerance to notice. The other bonus is that it's a skill I can learn and carry with me forever, my favorite sort of solution. The cost of an epidural is a lot higher than the hypnosis technique, and it's not something I can call on when I have other pain or just need a moment to pull myself together.

I'm starving - I forgot to even mention the appetite thing. Possibly the most annoying aspect of being pregnant has been (not so much lately, thank goodness) the roller coaster appetite. I eat a small amount and I'M SO FULL. However, 5 minutes later I AM STARVING! and repeat. I guess the overwhelming sleepiness hasn't been a picnic either.

Still, though, it's all worth it to feel our baby moving and know we get to meet her (I think it's a girl) soon.

Weight loss ticker

(I've placed this at the top so that as I go along, I can edit and change the ticker. All new posts will be below this one. -except for the baby ticker)

Yahtzee

It's been a while since I posted, so I will post about our crazy adventures with Yahtzee. While Kyle and I were visiting my brother's family and my parents, we played Yahtzee. I used to love that game and hadn't played it in several years...as it turns out, I still love it. So, I used some of my Christmas money to buy it when we got home.

I had just purchased it last week and we went to visit N&S for an evening of gaming. Every other time this has meant video games, so we packed our normal gaming bag. At the last moment I said, "There's not a chance in hell they'll actually want to play this, but I'll bring it anyway," referring to Yahtzee. We have 0 history of board games, so it was really unlikely (as evidenced by my statement). As it turns out, I wasn't the only one who loved it and S wanted to give it a go.

We played 3 games with the normal rules and then it got crazy. Kyle made up a "Speed Yahtzee" house rule whereby one person rolls their normal turn but at the end, all the players must score it on their card. It goes much faster because there are 13 turns total, not 13 per person. It's also insane because you would think it would be impossible to score differently. However, when I take a full house, someone else might take 3 of a kind and yet another might take one of the numbers...so it turns out weird. Last week we ended up playing 9 games of that because it was so fun - in addition to the 3 regular games.

We were there again tonight and we decided to try new and more insane house rules, such as: 1) Similar to Speed Yahtzee but with one roll per turn; everyone scores based on one roll and this translates to a LOT of zeroes on the board :) 2) Each player has to keep for one full turn (up to 3 rolls) one die from the previous player's roll. It gets pretty hairy toward the end when you have to save a number you don't need and can't use.

Anyway, it was quite a lot of fun and twice tonight I matched my card to someone else's - once with Kyle and once with S. Of all the times we played and that didn't come up, it was really strange for that to happen twice - and in a row, no less. Another time I matched S entirely except our 3 and 4 of a kind slots were reversed. I can't really explain that one!

Bonus - N had never played before and now she's a total fan too :)

In short, I love board games :)

Mistress Angie, quite a pansy, how does your garden grow?

With tulips and more tulips and daffodils and hyacinth and azaleas and hostas and a daylily and hydrangea, but not all in a row (that would be weird looking in my yard).

I'm not what you would call an outdoorsy person. I typically spend as much time as possible in a climate controlled building, making strategic short excursions to the out-of-doors when the temperature roughly matches said climate controlled atmosphere. Don't get me wrong; I do enjoy a nice read outside in the sun when the weather is nice. However, I burn easily and I'm not inclined to spend the time outside to remedy that problem (if it can be remedied at all).

Fall is planting season for a lot of plants I would like to have in my yard, though, and ultimately I'd like to have a really pretty yard; that overrides my anti-outdoors nature. As a result, in the last several weeks I have spent 10+ hours outside ON PURPOSE! So, what do I have in my garden?



In one garden under my bedroom window:
3'x12'
Lowest layer: 70 mixed long stem tulips (reds and yellows I think), 25 Queen of Night tulips, and 25 of another purple/white I can't remember the name of. It looks like so: l= long stem, q=queen of night, p=purple/white

llllllllllllllllllllllllllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll
llllllllllllllllllllllllllll
qpqpqpqpqpqpq
qpqpqpqpqpqpq
qpqpqpqpqpqpq

I am not entirely sure I perfectly alternated the purple ones, but it should still be pretty.

The next layer about 2" higher (because tulips are tolerant like that), I planted approximately 100 mixed daffodils and 20 mixed hyacinth like so:

dddddhhhhddddd
dddddhhhhddddd
dddddhhhhddddd

...you get the idea. I think the only fragrant flower there is the hyacinth, but there should be lots and lots and lots of color. I believe the upper layer of flowers (daffodil and hyacinth) bloom first while the tulips bloom after. If nothing pops up in that garden, I think Kyle and I might never garden again :P We spent 5 and maybe more hours digging that garden, amending the soil, and planting the bulbs.




Next up, we have the hostas and the bonus daylily and 12 additional tulip bulbs.

I have 2 big trees around the middle of the yard and since hostas are amenable to partial to full shade, I thought this would be a nice spot. Hostas apparently propagate like mad, so I only bought 2 (they're rather pricey). Also, once they're bigger I can split them. My friend Sarah quoted her mom: "When is the right time to split hostas? Whenever you have a shovel in your hand." I don't know if I'll do that in the first year, but I might be able to beg some off co-workers.

Anyway, I purchased a Golden Tiara hosta and a Variegated Hosta and received a Sammy Russell Daylily as a bonus. I also could NOT pass up 12 more tulip bulbs - it was the last bag, and I liked the contrasting spiky petals of the Claudia tulip, AND the guide I read said that tulips were a good companion plant and I didn't have any more bulbs!

I probably spent about an hour on the hostas and daylily on one day after work. I would have spent longer and amended the soil more carefully, but it was almost dark by the time I got home that night with the potting soil (yes, I used potting soil instead of sand). I think I spent 35-50 mins on the Claudia tulips today and amended the soil with sand. That area looks like so: T=tree, gt=golden tiara, v=variegated, d=daylily, c=Claudia note: there's a lot of space between the two trees, but blogger is not allowing me to display it. You'll have to use your imagination; also, center the diagram:

T gt v T
ccccc
d



Finally, I transplanted 2 azalea bushes to hopefully sunnier and better spots along the driveway (I have plans for more azaleas, but that will happen next Spring) and planted a hydrangea (I don't actually remember what kind I purchased but I'm pretty sure it's red).

I worked on this today for 3ish hours. It's a lot of work to transplant bushes! First I had to dig the holes and amend the soil, then dig them up, then re-plant them. I think it's probably unnecessary to diagram since I said they're along the driveway. I think about 3 more bushes should fit.

In that same 3ish hours I also cleaned up almost all of my dirt messes (there's a lot left over when you fluff up the clay) and I planted the hydrangea next to the house. My requirements for plants next to the house were partial to full shade and water-loving (we have a broken/clogged gutter that pours into that area); hydrangea fits the bill. I will either buy another hydrangea in the Spring or a Black Magic Elephant Ear. I hear/read those are temperamental in the winter, so I may just go for another 1 or 2 hydrangea.

Eventually we need to put in a trellis for the climbing rose bush, but I don't have the energy for that. It's gotten by for 2 years without it, so it can wait a little longer.

I'll post pictures in the Spring/Summer and if my plants don't come up I'll be really upset!!

One funny thing did happen though - while I was doing my last outdoor chore of watering all the new and transplanted babies, a Mexican dude nearly fell off his bike watching me. I guess I looked hot. When you got it, you got it 24/7/365. lol.

Now I need to go eat before the low blood sugar makes me ill. And possibly hibernate for the winter, I'm pretty tired.

ZZZZzzzzzzz

It's 1:26a and I should go to bed...but the heater is warm and I'm enjoying being up late. After a nap, anyway; this getting-up-early-to-work business is really killing my night-owl tendencies. I'm still not a morning person (at all, it's ridiculous) but lately (ha, late...yeah, I know, I need to go to bed, bugger off) I've been falling asleep around 10 or 10:30. Considering I used to go to bed at 1 or 2 and yawn my way through the day, that's pretty early (I say as I yawn).

I'm a bit disappointed with dinner. I had this idea in my head of this masterpiece taco salad that would explode with particular wonderful flavors...and then it didn't taste anything like I'd imagined. Kyle liked it, but he's not picky anyway so that's not saying much...and it was green, and he was green-deficient. Oh well, better luck next time I guess.

We rented all of Season 1 Lie to Me - Family Video was having a sale on new releases and since I'm obsessed with the show, here we are with 10ish hours to watch by Wednesday. Oh darn!

I'm impatient. I think this is something I am supposed to learn to accept and work through in this life, in which case I may live forever (except I'm too impatient to check it off the list...hahaha)! I'm a take-charge person (to put it lightly) and I have a hard time dealing when things are out of my control. I don't like waiting for other people or things to work out like I planned, I just want it now, dammit - oh, but hold the relish and can I get a side of mustard with that? - no, plain, I don't like spicy brown. This trait makes waiting for these pills to *fingers crossed* hopefully do their job and fix my fucked up body quite difficult. Especially so when it can take 6 months or more just to get things straightened out - and what then if it doesn't work? How will I even know? If I could look into the future I feel like I would...just so I could relax.

I guess things will work out when and how they should. I just don't want to wait to find out.

And where is my next Twilight book, dammit, speaking of things for which I do not want to wait! GOSH.

My cat finds the most obscure, seemingly impossible places to hide.

Attention authors: if you are going to write in the same universe with the same characters, please keep some notes and a timeline handy. Thanks, annoyed reader

Why do work days go by so slow and days off so fast? Not fair.

On the plane to in home. Boo. I want to go back to the beach

So sleepy...and full of frozen yogurt.

Beach day and i have a new floppy hat :)

Been awake since 4 and not sleepy. This sucks.

Whale watching is a 3 hour tour...a 3 hour tour.

Going whale watching for the first time-cool!

Up way early and doing chores to prepare us for the trip to ca today