Weight loss incredulity

Well, as of April of this year I started going to Weight Watchers again to get myself back on track.  I've got a few minor-could-be-major-if-I-don't-take-care-of-them-now health problems and the # 1 way to reverse them is to lose weight.  I can't deal with the selfishness of having to face our son one day and explaining to him that Mama is sick and won't live as long as she could have because she made poor choices.  I don't do well every day, but I try to do a little better at least a couple days per week.  I'm working to eliminate high fructose corn syrup in at least the most obvious sources - bread, peanut butter, jelly, hot dogs...those sorts of things.  HFCS is something I think my body in particular has a hard time dealing with so it would be for the best if I stop eating it.

Anyway, today I was reflecting on my weight loss.  I'm down (officially, weigh in is Thursday) 22.2 pounds and while I know I've been struggling with my old habits and stalling my weight loss, it's actually a great number - and I expect it to improve this week.  I'm seeing weight loss that I think I may have given up on and it is giving me an out-of-body experience.  It feels like I'm lying about my weight loss or telling someone else's story; it doesn't feel like mine.  Even though my clothes fit differently, my stomach feels and looks smaller, and people are starting to notice...it still feels...weird.

I think this is common, but I thought it was common with more weight loss.  I can deal with it and I'm starting to feel focused on my goal - I'd like to hit 45 pounds by the time I go back to the endocrinologist at the end of September.  I have approximately 9 weeks to lose 20* more pounds and it's doable if I stay focused. 

Wish me luck, cross your fingers, and if you see me with some snacky thing that will sabotage me, for goodness' sake please slap it out of my hands!  I will try not to punch you.  At the very least ask me if I journaled the points :)

Until next time,
Incredulous in S-town


*I am anticipating that I'll surpass 25 pounds this week so that's how my math works out.

Making up for lost time

Wow, it's almost like I have nothing better to do than vomit things from my brain into Blogger. :)

Reading the DIY blog helps me realize a couple things - 1) I should stop stressing that my house isn't "done" before our housewarming (I called it a BBQ but everyone knows what it is) next week and just enjoy it...even if I'm still going to do some planting/prettying up the outdoors a bit tomorrow!! 2) enjoy the process; even though I'm not really into home renovation, I love before/after progress and that is to be valued 3) I should probably make a list since I love lists anyway. Dear husband hates them, I think, but I love crossing things off a list. Makes me feel productive.

Additionally, I should probably start writing things down more or in 10 years I won't even remember what's happened since I have a terrible memory. Photos are nice but sometimes they need context. They're definitely enhanced by context, and the journal is improved by them - it's quite the complementary (yes that's the correct spelling!) relationship actually.

I should probably go back to bed now. I'm thinking of reading more of What Alice Forgot, though. It's really good and makes you think.

Hi again. Two posts in one day? NO WAY!!

I haven't posted much lately, so I didn't know that Blogger had changed so much. When I wrote the previous post it defaulted to HTML and I remember thinking, after an edit to add some breaks (space between paragraphs), gosh I'm glad I know some incredibly basic HTML coding. Right after that thought I noticed I could switch over to what I used to use to write a post. I guess it didn't change that much after all. :)

Learn to appreciate blank space & silence

It's 4:17am and I've been awake since 2:45 because I fell asleep with the toddler...yes, we have a toddler. How'd that happen? Anyway, when you fall asleep with a toddler and don't sleep a normal 8 hours [even if you do], you wake up far earlier than you would normally. So here I am, looking at Pinterest and Facebook and I've been reading all sorts of posts/looking at pictures on a DIY home improvement site.

Seeing one of their photos of their patio (which I can't find again) where there were only a few plants poking out of the mulch made me realize that I am twitchy about blank space. I don't know why. However, I'm weird with silence in a conversation as well and it's sort of the same thing. What I noticed in the photo was that they had blank space in the garden area and it was ok! I have a big blank space in my water garden and I was trying to decide how to fill it and now I'm thinking I really don't need to. I'm not sure why I feel like every space and silence needs to be filled but the more important thing is here to learn to get past that.